In a moment of anger it all boils over. Words and feelings we don’t even want to admit we have just slip out. And once they’re out there, like toothpaste, they’re impossible to put back. Disagreements and stress are going to happen in any relationship. How you deal with them can make all the difference.
Learn more and discuss this issue with a mentor
Ask your questions or share your thoughts below
Watch the video and discuss.
Some questions to ask:
** What situations trigger your anger?
** What steps can you take to eliminate angry outbursts from your marriage?
** Why is anger so harmful in a relationship?
** is there such a thing as “good” anger?
** How anger might cripple a relationship?
** How does anger keep you from discussing important issues?
I’ve been visiting this site all week and can’t believe I saw myself in the exploding anger video. I’ve been waiting for someone else to reply, as I’ve never replied before. I feel like I’m drowning. My husband has early Alzheimer’s and the weight of my responsibilities, ie: finances, home repairs, driving, everyday chores, working outside the home etc. are more than I can handle. Our two children live out of state and are supportive by phone but……. My friends are busy with their own lives. If God were not my God I would have succumbed long time ago. I trust Him but sometimes He seems so far away. My anger has become worse and worse as have my words. My husband had rejected me for years before this and we just exist under the same roof. I am committed to our marriage and will continue to care for him. Pray for me that I can find loving words and not angry ones when the frustrations become overwhelming. Seeing myself in the video let me know it’s not who I want to be.
Thank you for your ministry. MA
As i was watching the video, i was asking myself if i could burst my anger that way. That was the first thing that came into my mind. There are times that i just wanted to burst out and express my anger that way (and thought that it might make me feel good) but i know i cant and i know deep inside me that i dont have to . I thank God for his grace that holds and keeps me as i go through my anger. He is just so real in holding me back in times of anger. And i know that he wants to be in control esp in times that im out of control. I was crying reading MA’s reply, i really sympathize with her. I know how difficult to be in her situation, but i know that His grace is more than sufficient…….. LBC
In our anger do not sin says the Lord… Let’s think first before we utter the words , you cannot bring it back once you said it. damage has been done, just be careful.Show each other love. In every situation lift it up to the Lord in prayer….. God bless
As a facilitator of a small group at my church for married couples, it’s not uncommon to hear of these situations. Our God is a loving God and though we may at times experience moments such as these, we must realize that there is a deeper wound that needs to heal. Our anger and demeanor can be hurtful, however; God understands that when we lash out, it comes from our own pains and hurts. We must surrender ourselves to him and restore and renew our faith in him so that we may be able to find our security and significance in Him. Once we achieve that, your compassion and sense of giving will be a gift to others.
Ladies, even the apostle Paul understood our predicament. “I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing” (Romans 7:18-19).
I’m not suggesting that Paul struggled with anger, but he did struggle with sin-just like the rest of us. And like the rest of us, he would make up his mind not to commit a certain sin ever again. Did he succeed? No way! Now, if the apostle Paul couldn’t overpower his sin, why should you and I think we can?
You will all be in my prayers and I am encouraged by all of you for your honesty and willingness to come forward with your stories.
Grace and Truth,
Louie M.
I had a hard time veiwing the video. I saw frustration and having
an ajenda that was bing thwarted as the main reason for the outburst.
Many years ago I’d slam drawereand kick the wall because I was angry at myself. 4years ago I put down the cigasrette habit.Brfore Istarted I did a survey. Theygaveme strengths and wweaknesses and said my answers exhibited anger. I try to conxider the other person butI forget to listen and make assumptions about the other persons motives or attitudes. CLS
Carole,
My name is Denise and I am an online mentor for TruthMedia Ministry Center.
Truthfully, at first after reading your blog I wanted to reassign it to someone else because I was unsure what to tell you. However, as I prayed I know that this ministry is for reaching out to those lost, hurting, and confused. I want to give you the hope and encouragement through God’s Word and prayer that God stands beside you through all your trials in life. There is a God who is BIGGER than You and I. I can testify to this because He saved my life from suicide/stealing/depression and so much more. What made you search out this website? You are reaching out to God, now place all your anger, frustration, and weaknesses at His feet.
I thank you for your honesty and openness. Christ has and continues to give me incredible strength and guidance to deal with difficult situations in my life and He will do the same in your life. God never promised that the road of life would be easy, but trust in Him always and He will renew your strength and give you direction. “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles (Isaiah 40: 30). In our own strength we grow tired and weary, but when we wait on the Lord, we are renewed to accomplish all that He has called us to do. I understand how hard it is to sit back and wait on God to move in your life, but continue to press forward in prayer and seeking Godly wisdom and He will see you through this storm. Don’t be discouraged. “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion. (Philippians 1:6).
Before I close Carole, I would like to pray for you.
Lord, I lift Carole up to You asking that you “Direct her footsteps according to Your Word” (Psalm 119: 133). We place this anger that is deeply rooted in Carole’s spirit to be placed into Your hands, Lord. I pray that You will open up the pathway where she can receive guidance in her life. Stomp out Satan and any strongholds he is trying to place in her life to destroy her life. Please give Carole peace, comfort, and discernment in her spirit on how to handle this emotion of anger. I pray that Carole will be strengthened with Your glorious power within herself. May her life be filled with joy. Lord, please hear our cries to You. Give her a peace and quietness in her soul to wait and hear Your voice. Your Words Lord, is Life to our souls. As she spends time with You, let her find life, healing, and strength. May Carole trust You in all things. We place her life in Your hands. Amen.
Carole, I am here to encourage, listen, and continue to lift you up in prayer.
Please keep in touch.
God bless you Carole!
Denise
After reading some of the blogs posted on the website by the ladies on the subject of exploding anger, I have to admit that I am also struggling with anger.I have a hard time controlling my anger; and when I finally got over my anger and calm down, I am feel with condemnation, regret, guilt and shame. I knew what triggers the anger. It came from past hurts and unforgiveness. I really need God to help me overcome my weakness. Please pray for me, thanks. God bless you
Christine
I am considered by others outside my home, as the bubbly, outgoing, and loving friend/sister/daughter. But inside my home I struggle every day with anger and negative comments directed towards my husband and children. I find myself nagging or pointing out faults in areas that should not be a big deal! (Especially my attitude towards my husband.)I’m afraid that my behavior is affecting his confidence as a Father and Husband. These effects are not my intentions, these people are the closest to my heart and for some awful reason, and I don’t reveal my love for them as I do with others. Please don’t misunderstand me, I love my husband and children dearly and desire to carry my bubbly, happy and loving characters in my home as well. When I sit down and reflect with my Heavenly Father, my heart hurts with guilt and anguish because I know that I’m not being the wife and mother that he intended me to be, but how do I begin to forgive myself and forgive the misgivings that have developed with this behavior?
Your website has given me hope again, that I can change my behavior and let go of any fear that I may have in my relationships with my family. Please give me direction on where I go next.
In Christ,
Traci
Traci. I was something like you, only people perceived me as being easygoing and pleasant. At home I also sometimes ‘lost it’ with my kids and wasn’t happy with how my attitudes were affecting everyone. What gave me hope was when I learned that when I trusted God to cleanse me of those actions and attitudes, then I could ask Him to fill me with His Spirit and take control so I wouldn’t do those things. If I did blow it, I would ask Him for forgiveness and then ask him to fill (Eph 5:18b) me again. The key was not that I forgave myself, but that I accepted and believed that God forgave me. Then it was very important to trust Him to fill me again and to take control.
While I wasn’t perfect, this greatly changed the way I related to my family.
HI MY NAME IS CHRIS. SINCE THERE IS A CHRISTINE ON THIS BLOC I WILL CALL MYSELF CHRIST.
I HAVE A BAD TEMPER AND CAN GET ANGRY VERY EASILY. I AM NOT PROUD OF THIS FACT BUT IT HAS BEEN ON GOING FOR MOST OF MY 51 YEARS. FINALLY ABOUT 20 NONTHS AGO A FRIEND POINTED OUT TO ME THAT I WAS GETTING ANGER FOR NO REASON AT ALL AT SOMEONE. THIS CAME FROM SOMEONE I CAN AND WILL ALWAYS TRUST. AS HE HAS BEEN UNABLE TO COUNSEL ME I AM NOW IN THE PROCESS OF HAVING MY FIRST COUNSELING APPOINTMENT NEXT WEEK. I HAVE FINALLY BEEN ABLE TO ADMIT TO MYSELF THAT I NEED TO GET MY ANGER UNDER CONTROLL AND FIND ANOTHER WAY TO VENT.
GOD BLESS EVERYONE HERE ON THIS BLOG
Good for you Chris T. Anger is such a dangerous emotion, especially when it turns to rage. My husband used to tell a story about us. We had a portable dishwasher where you hooked the hose up to the sink faucet, and periodically the force of the water would flip the sink strainer and close the drain. He remembers asking me to take the strainer out when I hooked up the dishwasher,but I apparently didn’t register the importance of that. One day he was downstairs when he heard water dripping through the ceiling of the rec room. He knew it was coming from the kitchen. As he raced upstairs he said he was ready to give me a piece of his mind, but then he consciously asked God to take control, and he ended up calling me to mop up the floor, but then having peace of mind as he dealt with the emeregency in a sane manner. He had been consciously asking God to take control in all kinds of circumstances, so he knew what to do in an instant. This kind of living grows on you as you practise it. The thing is, you can’t control a habit like that in your own strength. Counseling will help, but you also really need God. Bless you as you persevere.
Hi I’m Yanni. My husband is also a bad tempered person. He would just let off his anger with vulgar word which hurts me.Sometimes,he would just vent his frustration on me in front of my kids. (embarrasing right?)I have ever tried to tell him this when he is in good mood but he pointed out my mistake instead. Well any suggestion how to deal with this?
Yanni,
Has your husband always responded in anger? If not do you remember when he started doing this?
Sometimes men are angry because they don’t feel respected. This does not excuse them, however knowing that they function this way may give you hope that things can change. Go to http://www.marriageuncensored.com and watch one of the tv shows online. Click Watch online, and then go to season four and click on show #419 with guest Emerson Eggerichs. another good one is show #404 about the Love Busters that trash your marriage. Watch these together if he is willing.
Hi My name is Terri, I am going through some problems. we have 4 children. My husband is trying to go through and get his Pastoral certificate. Pressure from always being with kids. I get so angry about things and I am going through Menopause, which does not make things easier..I try to give it to the Lord, But I always end up taking it back and making it my problem. I am stressed out…Please pray for us..thank you